It was not pretty, and the box score will tell you so. Kevin's Couch posted the sixth-best total of the week and walked away a winner anyway, drawing the one opponent generous enough to score less — Punt Returns Only, who managed to lose despite a benchful of points.
The dagger was a late scratch turned masterstroke: with Rashee Rice ruled out at dawn, the Couch slid Jauan Jennings into the flex for 14.2 where a zero had been waiting. A two-touchdown swing, decided before kickoff, by a manager who simply read the morning report.
The win nudges the Couch to 4th and into genuine bye-week conversation. Boring football, the connoisseur's football. The Dispatch tips its cap.
Left 41 points on the bench, started a D/ST on a bye, and lost by three. A performance so complete the league has retired the trophy in its honor. Self-deprecate accordingly — this one's going in the chat whether you post it or not.
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